You can't put a good man down

By: Sakhile Ndlazi

Most people don’t fully comprehend the drastic intensity of people living with disability. The biggest barriers that people with disabilities face, and the hardest barriers to remove, are other people’s negative attitudes and erroneous images of them. Mduduzi Sibiya knows about this far too well.

Ever since he was young, Sibiya had a talent for mechanical work. After matriculating from Mamelodi High, Sibiya soon found work at a local car company, as an auto mechanic. He quickly mastered the trade and excelled in his job.

 The stars seemed to be aligned for this ambitious young man. He was making a living out something he genuinely enjoys and was very good at it.

On the 25^th of August, 2009, Sibiya reported to work as per usual. For the past week he had been working on a car that needed much repair. Always up for a challenge, he worked relentlessly on the car. While he was working on the car, an engine hoist stand that was loosely tied, weighing approximately 200kg, suddenly fell on him, landing directly on his lower back. Although surprisingly he was not in a lot of pain, he knew that something was very wrong, as he lost feeling in his legs.

At the hospital, doctors confirmed Sibiya's initial fears; he had suffered a total spinal injury and would be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. His first thought after receiving the bad news was; will he still be able to work and provide for his family. This accident caused depression not just in him but his whole family."You never think this could ever happen to you, in a split second your life changes. You find out who you are, and what you are made of,” he said.

After finally returning home, from a two month stay at Mamelodi Day hospital, reality struck. He had to learn to adjust his sails to his new life, which made him very depressed. The depression was further aggravated by people’s reactions towards him. Sibiya could not handle the reactions, thus he live in isolation, avoiding people awkward reactions.

 A week after returning from hospital, his family tried by all means to get him to walk again. Being a very superstitious family, from the township, his family blamed the accident on witch crafting. He was continuously taken back and forth to traditional healers, in a desperate attempt to get him walking again. To their detriment, the traditional healers could not cure him of the supposed bad spell.  Sibiya’s family was so conservative, that they disapproved of him using a wheel chair, and opted to carry him on their backs rather. They were convinced that the bad spell would gradually disappear and that he would walk again. But his close friend, Sphiwe Thabethe, warned his family about the consequences of not using a wheel chair. After much convincing, they finally gave in and he was back to using a wheel chair.

But his problems were not entirely over. People in his community starred gossiping about him immensely. He had to challenge the stereotypes and stigma in his community that, although improving, is still not quite accepting of people with disabilities. If that wasn’t enough some people felt too much pity for him, and started being extra nice to him, which didn’t particularly sit well with him. He felt worthless and victimised. His then girlfriend also felt overwhelmed by the whole situation, and decided to give him space, by ending their relationship. “When it rains, it pours,” he says. It was a very dark period in Sibiya’s life.

Fortunately his resilience and his will to live, coupled with a good support system and faith, gave him courage to carry on. In the mist of all the depression, the pain and the loss, he came up with an idea that would help his family and himself. It would even make him feel that he was helping others deal with their injury. Sibiya developed a love for sewing, after attempting to sew a cushion for his wheel chair. He was immobile and stagnant to carry on with car mechanics. Sibiya felt overwhelmed at work. "I wasn't able to keep up with my colleagues so I permanently retired” he said. He then mastered the art of sewing, and became an exceptional tailor. He now operates a successful tailoring business, from the comfort of his home. He saw an instant opportunity and managed to rise above the hardships he faced.

Although very confident, Sibiya admits he still gets depressed. “I get depressed just like everybody else; people still think it’s because of my disability. I’m over it now, I’ve made peace with it.” he says wittingly. He is moving forward with his life. His company is doing very well and he is even thinking of tying the knot next year. “You can live through anything, if only you believe," he says.