FORGET TRADITION, TAKE THE LEAD

By Yolanda Mabanga

With the evolving times having given more individuality, independence and ambition to women, it has become more acceptable for females to take the first step in any given situation.   It is incredible to witness what women have done in the past to establish their mark in relationships and should be observed as a stepping stone for those that also want to take the lead.

Proposing to a man can be challenging but we are well aware that they can be rather hesitant to progress and could use a push in the right direction.  It is definitely not something to feel conservative about as close to 9 per cent of females have proposed with an 80 per cent positive response from the male.

“It is definitely a thought-provoking process and should be done with perfect timing,” states Wendy Harding, a relationship expert. “You definitely need to know your partner well and have valid knowledge as to whether he is happy with his life at the moment, whether it be professional, social or otherwise.”

Harding fears nothing more than pressuring a man to settle into an aspect of his life that he is not ready for due to other goals or plans that have not been reached as yet. 

“You need to understand that it is highly unlikely for a man to settle down if he himself feels inadequate as an individual in the social hierarchy.  Hence you need to have known your partner for an appropriate amount of time,” she says.

When you do feel that the timing is perfect, doing something different can add light to the already non-traditional task of proposing.  It is not required of you to kneel on one knee.  Besides the fact that it might come across as unflattering, stilettos were not designed to accommodate such stunts.

“Taking him back to the your first date and having a romantic dinner while reminiscing on times shared can open a world of emotions and can assist in your next step,” says Harding.

Just a mention of how you would love to spend the rest of your life with him and feel there is no time like the present can lead the direction of the conversation.

Harding states that when you are finally ready to ask him to marry you, you must do it with sincerity and leave no room for doubt.

“As a woman you have an advantage to not have an engagement ring when popping the question, but if you feel your partner is going to appreciate it and then don’t hold back,” she says.

He as a man is going to respect you for the courage you have to have gone through with it and it portrays you as a woman who definitely knows what she wants.

Harding believes that for some men, this attribute is very attractive and signifies a woman who is willing to take that first step.

“It signifies a woman who is not afraid to express herself and is not ashamed to go the extra mile to get her point across,” she says.

Women need to step away from accustomed traditional routines and learn to act on impulse.  As equal individuals, they also have the right to make decisions of this magnitude.

Harding emphasizes that gone are the days where the man was regarded as the only legible half to take action when it came to important issues.

“Yes, it is going to take several more years for women to gather this concept of equality in all levels but once it is acknowledged, there will be no gaps for who takes the initiative and who doesn’t,”  she states.