FALLING PREGNANT AT THE AGE OF 16

FALLING PREGNANT AT THE AGE OF 16

By Rebecca Masina

Not all mothers will be happy to see their children falling pregnant at the age of 16. To them it is a disgrace and it brings shame to the family and it raise questions like “what kind of a mother allows her child to fall pregnant at a young age? Why didn’t she guide her all along?” This questions the parenting skills and methods of the parents, if whether they are able to raise kids or not.

Mmabatho Ramphele fell pregnant at the age of 16. At that age children are expected to be going to school and learning how to make a better life out of themselves.
Ramphele only realized that she was pregnant when she was 5 months pregnant. It was hard for her to tell her family “I wrote a letter to my grandmother and left it on the table, then ran away to my other grandmother,” she said

For Ramphele it was not a good full 9 months of pregnancy. She realized that she has disappointed her parents and her family. The thought of her having to tell her mother was nerve wracking.

“My mother told me to pack my things and go to the guy that made me pregnant. She told me words like “O mosadi wena, setse o tseba le go bula maoto, jwale tsea se eleng sa gago ontswele ka motse” (you are a women now, you even know how to open your legs so get whatever that is yours and get out of my house). Those words where so hurtful to me. She wanted by all means for me to do an abortion. Although Aubrey and his family did not deny the pregnancy but my mother still insisted on me having an abortion. Aubrey and his family paid all the damages that they were supposed to pay as tradition goes. She went to almost all the private doctors and asked Aubrey to pay; he didn’t disagree as he did not want to fight with my family,” she said.

Finally the doctors told her it is too late and risky for her to have an abortion. “I went to school with the pregnancy and still managed to pass my grade nine, yet I still had to bear with my mother and her hurtful words. “I only enjoyed and felt better when Aubrey came to see me, showing a bit of disappointment,” she said.

“I was very disappointed in her, angry at the same time. I even wanted to beat her up so bad. I did not expect her to act in such manner. I expected her to do big, focus on school and enjoying her childhood years,” her mother, Elsie Ramphele said. “Being a mother, especially a teenage mother is not good and it is not child’s play” she added.

Dealing with family and school at the same time can be very much tiring and confusing as many emotions will be running within the house. “I remember my own blood brother cursing my pregnancy saying that he wish the baby can be born with disabilities,” Ramphele said.

Ramphele is currently studying Electrical engineering at Ekurhuleni West Collage, Tembisa Campus. She is doing her second year. The baby is now 4 years old and lives with her and her mother.

Having a child at a young age is not a sin but a learning curve that one can go through. No one is perfect after all. We all have to make certain mistakes in life in order to learn and grow from them. A child is a blessing, it doesn’t matter how and when they came about.