A perfect life turned into a night mare

By: Gugu Ndlovu

Life cannot be controlled, and the future is not determined by the past. One small thing can change someone’s life for the better or worst. Life comes with both negative and positive trials, hence one has to find ways to "escape" or confide in something.

Zinhle Mnyeni a 36 year old from Mlazi had the life that all teenagers dream off. Being raised in a Christian family with education as their first goal, she developed a strong personality and beneficial habits. Mnyeni says," I was just a happy child; I got everything I wanted from my parents. They supported me in everything that I did, as long as it was good."

When Mnyeni turned 17 (only in grade 11) she was raped by her uncle. Through that she got pregnant. Due to the fact that she grew up from a Christian environment abortion was never an option. "I was so scared I could not say a word to my family," says Mnyeni. As a child this had big effects on Mnyeni, she could not perform at school the way she did before. Her marks were decreasing and she stopped socialising with her friends around the neighbourhood. Mnyeni states that, "I used to run home from school, and stay in the house the whole time, I though everyone could see right through me."

Mnyeni kept her pregnancy for a period of three months before she shared it with her mother. Hence, she only did that because her mother noticed changes in her body and behaviour and asked her about it.

"Although my aunt and other family members thought of this as an abomination, my parents suggested I keep the pregnancy and continue with school," Mnyeni explains. Mnyeni’s main focus was just to finish her high school and get a certificate in order for her to study further. "I had always wanted to help people, work as a social worker or a motivational speaker," says Mnyeni. Having that dream made her realise that nothing could stop her.

The family, including Mnyeni decided not to report this issue to the police, but disown the uncle in every way possible. The last time the uncle was seen was six months after the incident, when the community members threatened to kill him.

Mnyeni states that closer to the time for her child to be conserved she learnt that he was not going to be normal. "At first I was torn apart, a teenage mom with a sick, rape child! But, my father convinced me that all children are a gift from God, no matter the circumstances," Mnyeni adds.

At the time Siphosenkosi, Mnyeni’s son was born, he was diagnosed is Down syndrome, causing him to go to special schools, because he was different from all the other children.
"I gave him that name because he was a true gift, and he has so much soul and love" Mnyeni adds. Having a child with disabilities does not make this family different, they are just as a normal family, full of love and care for each other.

Although it has always been difficult for Mnyeni and her family to raise Siphosenkosi, with the memories they had about their uncle, the family gave Mnyeni all the support she needed to finish her studies and start a life of her own.

Siphosenkosi was told about his father and the manner in which he was conserved at the age of 10 by his mother. Mnyeni says, "When my son turned 10, he asked me who his was and why he has never came to say hie, tears came down my face and at that time I knew it was time to tell him, everything." Her son, however did not take the news easily, he was very disappointed by the answers his mother gave him.

Mnyeni now works as a motivational speaker in the community and she is a councillor at a local church she is also a teacher at Norkem Park Primary School.

Having a son changed her to view the world as a positive place. She is now married to a wonderful man, with two children. After going through hardships of life, all Mnyeni does thank God for pulling her through everything.

"Don’t let your history hinder you from your destiny! Yes I have been hurt, but now its my time to heal." Mneyi says.